Monday, September 30, 2019

It’s raining – Creative Writing

It's raining. It hasn't rained this hard since the day she left me, the day she told me how she'd sold her ring. It took three months wages to buy that ring, three whole months and she just sold it to a complete stranger, told me she didn't love me anymore. She'll be leaving work soon, on her way home. Eleven-thirty, same time she does every night, only tonight is different. Tonight she won't be getting home. This is the last night those men will look at her. He's going to sort that out for me. He'll have to leave soon too; otherwise he'll miss her, but maybe that would be better. This could be the only chance to free me, I can't go on, when every move I make depends on her, I can't let her control my life anymore I need to break free. The world outside is looking even less inviting, full moon. Its overcast the stars are blurred. Well not just the stars, everything is blurred. Something's not right. This old leather armchair, and the bottom of my brandy bottle grows more comfortable still, the rains angry drops are hammering against the window pane, I don't think I can stare out the window any longer, this is eating me from inside, what was I thinking, I have to stop him, before it's too late, before I lose her completely. I'm going to go now, got my coat now I just need to step into the bitter cold New York winter. I haven't even shut the door properly, there isn't time. He'll be leaving now too, his wild scraggly hair will be blowing around in the wind his hands to tired to move it out the way, and I can picture him in my mind, only my vision of him is misty, over the years I have found myself losing touch. Still, he knows what he's doing, he's ready. He'll have no shame; I'll be the one who has to pick up the pieces. She smiles at me when I think of her, she told me she saved that smile for me, liar. I went to surprise her at work, on her birthday last week. Bought her flowers and everything, then I saw it. She smiled at them the same way; she had that twinkle in her eye for every man in that bar. That's when I saw him first, through the window of that place. We looked at each other for just a split second, but that was enough to know. She'd hurt him to. The rains pouring down harder still, even me thick trench coat can't stop it pounding down so hard on me. It's not pounding as much as my heart though, my hearts pounding like thunder, like a trapped animal, there's a storm raging inside me, I cant lose her. My feet are getting heavier after every step I take, I can feel a cold sweat rushing all over my body, my hands are gripped so tightly with fear, I can't run any faster. It's such a busy place, so full of people all the time, so full of life. Still I feel alone, empty without her. My heart beats faster still, I keep seeing him, first in front of me then behind, he's going to hurt her. How can it have come to this, why did she have to leave me, things were so perfect. I can see him properly no, there's no mistaking it he's just across the road. Weaving in and out of the yellow taxis I think I'm getting closer to him. I'm passing so many trees, the more I pass the less I can work out there shape, i'm losing all definition. Everything seems a blur. The smoky exhausts of the double-parked cars have made the air heavy. Yet even with all the traffic I still feel distant, this place that's been home for so long suddenly seems a whole new world to me. This is what I imagine it to be without her, lost forever in a world I'll never be able to clasp, she grounds me, helps me through life, well she is my life. The noise of the city is beginning to fade away as my path leads me away from the busy streets, he's here. I keep seeing him but then he's gone, maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. Between my footsteps and my loss of breath my mind is beginning to wonder, back to the day I first met her, when she wouldn't even notice me whatever I did, I think she changed when she met me, I don't know , but I can imagine. I think something changed in her after I met him too, it was as if she knew I knew about him. My heart shunted when I saw her, I froze for a second, her blonde hair blew gently in the wind, the full moon was shining through the branches of central park, casting eerie shadows on the path she was walking. She held her umbrella with one hand, while attempting to light a cigarette with the other, her black stiletto heels tapped steadily along the bridge. There he is, lying in wait. Now's my chance. She just looked right at him, I can see it in his eyes, she knew him, and she knows what he's going to do. He flicked out the knife that had been gripped in his hand so tightly all this way, he can see me in its reflection, he's smiling. She's dropped her cigarette onto the floor and is running, he's running after her, and I after him. Her heels are sinking into the wet ground, he's catching her, but I'm catching him. As he wrapped his tired hands around her neck I began to struggle with him, I begged him to stop, and so did she. Her body grew heavy with the dread of what was to come. The knife fell to the ground, I had control, I'd beaten him. I released her from my grip, brushed back my scraggly hair, grabbed her hand, tried to feel for a pulse. There wasn't one. Then I looked at her hand, it glistened at me, like her eyes used to, her ring she still had it on. Maybe she did still love me. I cried for her to come back to me, the end came anyway. Then I felt it, the ice-cold air flowing over me, around me and through me, she was dead, he had killed her, I had killed her.

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